Didn't expect this...

I knew having a miscarriage would be a difficult thing. I knew that it would be physically taxing at first and that dealing with all the "what if's" and emotions would be a struggle, but after watching Natalie die in my arms, I didn't expect them to be so difficult. Wednesday, September 7th, was Asher's due date. All of the ladies I was supposed to be pregnant with and deliver around the same time as are having their babies. I am so incredibly happy for them, but my heart can't help but ache when I see these sweet tiny new ones, hear the little noises they make, watch these mommas nurse their new little ones, calm their cries, and even change their diapers. These last couple days have been pretty rough. I wish the Lord would just tell me the reasons behind all this...sometimes I wonder if it'd make me feel better...