Little moments

Such precious little moments with my growing family...

 

Sigh...my heart is full and happy.

Bath time!

Malachi and Sapphira were so excited to help give Amira her first bath and our nurse was so sweet to let them help.  We waited until they came back to the hospital after lunch to get her cleaned up.

She was calm and peaceful and only wiggled a bit. 

Sapphira got to help wash her body. 

Malachi got to help the nurse wash her hair.

Our nurses were so friendly and good about including the big kids in the things that were going on.  When they would come in to take our vitals, the nurse would explain everything that was going on and let them watch.  Such an exciting day for us all!

Meeting our Newest Sister!

Since Amira was born so early in the morning, we didn't have the kids come to the hospital right away.  Once we were settled in our hospital room, we got a bit of rest and Samuel went home to get the kids ready for Malachi's last basketball game on Saturday morning.  I was so bummed I missed it, but Daddy made sure to send me text message updates and pictures and video of his game.  Once the game was over, the family came to the hospital to welcome Amira.  We had the kids come in with Daddy so they could have some special time with their baby first.

 He was so excited to be able to kiss her little head!

 She is such a good big sister and was so happy to finally meet her baby.

 Holding Amira and getting a good look.

Sapphira really wanted to see her toes. 

 Makes my heart happy!

Sapphira held Amira when we told the grandparents and Bobo they could come in.  She was so proud to be the one introducing her to them.

More baby snuggles.  Amira was so good and didn't fuss once with all the passing around and kisses she was getting.

Sister snuggles

Thumb sucker??  Time will tell!

Happy Birth Day, Amira!

Ready for picture overload? :)  I'd like to share the details of Amira's birth before I forget them all!

During the afternoon on March 1st, I started getting a headache.  This isn't uncommon for me while I'm pregnant so I didn't think much of it and was going to wait a bit to take anything for it so I could take my prescription medication after the kids went to bed and fall to sleep myself.  As the minutes ticked by, the pain intensified and by 7:00, I had a migraine and decided to take some Tylenol to take the edge off since Samuel wasn't quite home yet.  The Tylenol didn't help to manage the headache and it continued to build.  Samuel was home by now and took my blood pressure which turned out to be high.  This combined with the headache made us panic as these are symptoms of pre-eclampsia which I had at the end of both Natalie and Malachi's pregnancies.  We called the on-call doctor and she told us to go to the ER.  After shoving the last couple things we needed into the hospital bag and a quick trip to my parents to drop off Malachi and Sapphira, we headed out.  After losing Natalie, we have a hard time not letting our minds wonder to the worst case scenarios when it comes to our children so this 15 minute drive was torture.  We were quickly ushered to a triage room where they confirmed by blood pressure was still high and hooked me up to the monitors.  My headache continued and I needed the room to be as dark and quiet as possible in order to be even semi-comfortable.  After a couple hours of monitoring, my blood pressure dropped back into the normal range, but my continued headache made the on call OB nervous, so she said that delivering ASAP was the best things to do.  After a quick ultrasound that revealed Amira was still transverse, I was prepared for a c-section.  Things started moving quickly and I got very nervous.  So nervous that I started bawling my eyes out when I had to get my spinal put in for the surgery.  The anesthesiologist wasn't able to place the catheter the first time which was quite painful and I just burst into tears. oy  The sweet nurse that was helping me sit still for the spinal wrapped her arms around me while I put my head on her shoulder and just cried and cried.  I finally got a hold of myself right around the time the spinal was placed and was laid on the table so Samuel could come in and the surgery could start.  It was so strange listening to the doctors working and just waiting to meet our daughter.  After a few minutes, I heard them say they found her feet and then that her rump was out. At 2:17 am on 3/2/13 they said "It's a girl!" and then a couple seconds later her head was born.  They had to pull the silly girl out by her feet since she was transverse.  I heard a small cry and then they held her up over the curtain for our first look.  

 Hello sweet girl!!  I cried...I was so happy she was finally here!

 My first look up close.  Such a pretty girl.

Once they took her from me so I could get all put back together and transferred to the recovery room, Samuel went with Amira while she was cleaned up and measured.

 7 pounds, 4 ounces 19 inches long.

Already wrapped around his little finger. 

 

They finally brought her back to me in recovery where we tried nursing a bit and got to snuggle for the first time.  I can't believe how lucky we were to be blessed a fourth time.  Thank you Lord for your miracles!

My Little Boy No More

Sapphira has been struggling with the terrible sickies that have been going around for the last little bit.  Fevers, cough, chills, runny nose and lethargy have been her main problems for the last few days.  Wednesday morning, she woke up with a fever again, so I called her sitter to tell her she wasn't coming and I stayed home from work to care for her.  Samuel went to work early so I was in charge of getting Malachi to school.  We loaded up into the truck and drove the 4 minute drive to his school.  I stopped at the crosswalk to let him out and he hopped out and said "I love you, Momma!" before slamming the door closed behind him.  As I watched him walk into his school I nearly burst into tears.  Long gone is the little boy who always reached for my hand to hold when he was in even a slightly unfamiliar environment.  Gone is the boy who needed affirmation he was doing the right things at the right time or sought my approval countless times throughout the day.  He walked along the sidewalk, knowing just where to stop to make sure with the crosswalk guard it was ok to pass through the bus lane, that the right-hand door was the correct door to enter and, as I peered into his school from behind the steering wheel, exactly which hallway to take to get to class, all while his slightly too large backpack bounced confidently on his shoulders.  I know that he'll still feel like he needs me for at least a couple more years, but my Bubbo isn't a little boy any longer.  I'm praying he continues to transform into the strong, confident boy is already starting to become. 

But I still miss my baby...

Catch up!

I'm starting to play catch up!  Below you will find some back-dated posts from when I stopped posting back in August.  Oy!

Family Adventure Day!
Snuggly Baby Gift
Happy Little Trees
Wedding, Horses and Sand...Oh My!
and because I wanted to post something more about the baby, I jumped ahead and wrote this It's A...

Since I'm starting the end stages of my pregnancy (32 weeks 2 days today!), I'm not sleeping well and I hope to have more time on my hands in the evenings to edit pictures and write posts.  I'm on a roll, and I don't want to stop it! As you can also see I got a wild hair and decided to change the look of my blog a bit, too.  I just have to find a header I like now!

A hand to hold...

This is probably not the way to break my blog silence.  This a thoughtful and sad post.  I plan on updating with all the holiday posts with happy pictures soon, but this was on my mind...

Last night, I went to see Les Miserables with three dear friends and one new one.  I had been anticipating this movie and was excited to watch all the big name actors do their stuff and sing.  I have never seen any of the other movies or had any exposure to this story, so little did I know it was so full of suffering.  The story follows several characters through the times of the French Revolution, highlighting their struggles and, for most of them, chronicling their deaths.  I was amazed that I, in my hormonal and always-on-the-verge-of-tears state, didn't cry when I watched Fantine, hallucinate her daughter, Cosette's image and die crying out to her and worrying about her well-being.  I didn't shed a single tear when a small boy not much older than Malachi was shot and killed by the French soldiers for taking up the Revolution's cause.  I just shuddered when Javert through himself from a bridge because he felt so badly about his past.

I thought I might make it through the entire heart breaking story without crying, until the last scene.  One of the main characters, Jean ValJean, the man who sat with Fantine when she died and promised to care for her Cosette as his own, saw that she was to be well taken care of by her soon-to-be husband and snuck away to a convent to die alone.  The newlyweds, on their wedding day, found out where he was, rushed to his side and pleaded with him to hold on because there was still so much for him to live for.  As they begged him not to go, Fantine appears to Jean and comforts him as he dies and makes his transition to his afterlife.  Although his daughter was weeping at his feet, Jean was not scared or sad because Fantine was with him.  I cried and cried, but not for Jean ValJean or even Cosette. 

I wept for my Natalie. 

I know that Samuel and I were with her when she died.  I held tightly to her body and Samuel grasped her finger the moment she latched onto his in her struggles to breathe.  We cried when we realized she was slipping away and I whispered in her ear, "It's ok, Jesus is waiting for you."  Watching the movie I wondered, did she have her own Fantine?  Was an angel there adding to my thoughts in her ear, "Yes, He's just over there!"?  Or perhaps Jesus himself was there stroking her cheek saying, "I'm right here dear child.  Come to me."  I like to think so.  We know that she felt no pain as she went to Jesus, but I often worry if she was scared.  But then I remember how peaceful her face was during those few moments.  I did not feel her body tense up in her struggles to breathe.  She didn't even furrow her eye brows like she had when she'd cry.  She just snuggled in, held Daddy's finger, locked eyes with us and left.  Jesus had to have been with her, I just know it.  I'm thankful He isn't too big to comfort a dying infant and her family and that He ushered her straight into Heaven and into His warm embrace.  I can't wait to meet her again and snuggle with her as she tells me the "Jesus" side of the story.

♥♥♥♥♥