Saturday, October 18, 2008
Thank the Lord for good friends!
Remember when I mentioned that this is my weepy pregnancy? You can add worry to the list, too. This last week was a really bad worrying week for me. I worried about everything, but mainly the health of peanut. Not so much an illness or disability like Natalie had, but miscarrying. The thoughts consumed me, making quality sleep impossible, enjoying playing with Malachi or being around my husband, and the days were incredibly long and unbearable. I talked to Samuel about it a little bit, but it just didn't seem to help calm my fears. Enter good friends. On Friday morning, I attended my mom's group at church and as soon as I walked in the door, I felt like I could cry at the drop of a hat. I found some of my friends who I have known for a couple years and who have been with me back when things were rough with Natalie. Bree asked me if I was OK (have I mentioned that I couldn't hide my emotions if my life depended on it?) and I said "Yeah...No." and promptly started crying. I told her about my worrying and that I didn't know what to do. Bree has also lost a child, so she has been a great friend to talk to about things that not everyone would understand or know what to say. She helped me calm down, and reminded me that us mommies have to remember that things aren't always in our control and that this was up to the Lord. That simple thought really struck home. How quickly I had forgotten that simple fact. There is nothing I can do...no amount of worrying will help my child...it only makes me feel worse. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding..." Proverbs 3:5. Can I tell you how much better I feel. I was on the verge of a breakdown and ready to call my OB and insist he see me right then, but Friday night I didn't worry about Peanut. I was able to play with Malachi and have fun. Samuel and I spent some time watching TV without me being in the dumps. I even got good sleep and felt refreshed when I woke up. Thank you Bree for reminding me of the Lord's faithfulness. Thank you Lord for good friends.