Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Aching Heart

I need my blog as therapy tonight...my heart is aching. I miss my Natalie. I have followed off and on the story of Angie Smith and her family as they deal with the loss of their newborn daughter in April 2008. Her husband Todd is the lead singer for Selah and they wrote this song about their experiences. Watch it...you'll see...it'll make you sob. In my mind, I can replace the pictures on the video with pictures of Natalie's time with us. I miss the weight of her tiny body in my arms...the way she smelled...the little sounds she made...the way she looked into our eyes and you could tell that she knew we were Mommy and Daddy. I miss my Natalie. I know that I have written this before, but what make me the saddest is that if I missed Malachi, I could go into his room right now and kiss him on the cheek or if I missed Sapphira, I could go scoop her up and bury my face in her hair and hold her tight. But I can't do that with Natalie. I can look at pictures, but sometimes that makes my desperation greater...I can't snuggle her again. It makes my arms ache and my heart throb.

Natalie, we miss you so much and we can't wait to see you again soon. Snuggle close to Jesus until we can hold you again. We love you lots and lots, Daddy, Mommy, Malachi, and Sapphira


Char said...

((Hugs)) to you. I can only imagine how much you miss Natalie and I'll be praying for you.

Teresa said...

love ya girl!