Lately, I have been struggling with depression, anxiety and just plain not being happy with where we are and what we have. My life doesn't always look the way I want it to. My house is almost always unkempt, my children struggle daily with obeying, my heart cycles through the grief of missing my babies, my weight is spiraling out of control, and Samuel and I are usually just passing ships in the morning while we switch off childcare duties. Life is rough right now and it is getting the best of me. Stress eating, fights with my spouse, short fuses with my children. It's so easy to get caught up in all this mess and forget about all the blessings the Lord has given me.
But, today is good. Although the kids and I stayed home from church because my stomach was bothering me, I got to sleep in and then snuggle with my little girl. My husband didn't stay for the second church service and came home as soon as his coffee shop responsibilities were complete to help me take care of the kids and make lunch. We were able to get a free propane BBQ on craigslist today to replace ours that recently stopped working. The sunshine and my children's laughter streaming through our open windows as we worked in the kitchen. Hearing the kids sing songs about Jesus with conviction as they dug in the dirt. Eating lunch together, chit chatting about what the kids wanted to do today. Watching my husband mow the lawn while keeping an eye on the children because being outside while he's cutting the grass gives me a headache. Being able to magically cure an owie with a kiss. Seeing Sapphira working on conquering her fear by willingly pet our dog, Sadie, for the first time. Fresh flowers in my house for the first time in a year. If I could, I would scoop up part of today in a jar, seal it up and put it on the pantry shelf to unleash on another hard day.
Thank you Lord.
Today is good.