Thursday, January 31, 2013

My Little Boy No More

Sapphira has been struggling with the terrible sickies that have been going around for the last little bit.  Fevers, cough, chills, runny nose and lethargy have been her main problems for the last few days.  Wednesday morning, she woke up with a fever again, so I called her sitter to tell her she wasn't coming and I stayed home from work to care for her.  Samuel went to work early so I was in charge of getting Malachi to school.  We loaded up into the truck and drove the 4 minute drive to his school.  I stopped at the crosswalk to let him out and he hopped out and said "I love you, Momma!" before slamming the door closed behind him.  As I watched him walk into his school I nearly burst into tears.  Long gone is the little boy who always reached for my hand to hold when he was in even a slightly unfamiliar environment.  Gone is the boy who needed affirmation he was doing the right things at the right time or sought my approval countless times throughout the day.  He walked along the sidewalk, knowing just where to stop to make sure with the crosswalk guard it was ok to pass through the bus lane, that the right-hand door was the correct door to enter and, as I peered into his school from behind the steering wheel, exactly which hallway to take to get to class, all while his slightly too large backpack bounced confidently on his shoulders.  I know that he'll still feel like he needs me for at least a couple more years, but my Bubbo isn't a little boy any longer.  I'm praying he continues to transform into the strong, confident boy is already starting to become. 

But I still miss my baby...

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